The list
After Creigh Deeds was elected to the Senate, the spirit of FDR edited his famous quote to read “The only thing we have to fear is the Senator from Bath himself.”
Virginia used to be known as the mother of all presidents. Now its just known as Creigh Deeds’ bitch.
Creigh Deeds didn’t run against Bob McDonnell for the attorney general’s race in 2005. He coughed. But the awesome spew of legislative speak that emerged from his mouth nearly got him elected anyway.
Creigh Deeds will bring us the Third Crossing ... when he decides to whip it out.
Creigh Deeds once challenged Chuck Norris to a thumb-wrestle. Neither of them really likes to talk about that.
Creigh Deeds can tame Tim Kaine's eyebrow.
John Parmele exists only to amuse Creigh Deeds.
Bill Bolling does not head the Senate. Bill Bolling heads 39 Senators and then does whatever Creigh Deeds says for fear of his own life.
Larry Sabato predicts what will happen in Virginia elections. Creigh Deeds knew what would happen by the time he turned three years old.
Creigh Deeds could have ended the budget impasse in less than one day by squinting at Vince Callahan.
Creigh Deeds will build the Metro tunnel under Tyson's, using only the teeth of Mark Warner.
If the state won’t build a college in the Southside, Creigh Deeds will go and speak there for 15 seconds. Anyone who listens will be smarter than Stephen Hawking.
The Expos moved to DC only because they were afraid of competing with Creigh Deeds for consumer dollars.
The "D" in Paul D. Fraim stands for Deeds.
Bath County is called Bath because it can never be clean enough for Creigh Deeds.
Creigh Deeds headbutted Zinedine Zidane, shattering him instantly.
On the political blog Not Larry Sabato, no one uses the name Not Creigh Deeds because that truth is the most self-evident of all. None of us will ever be Creigh Deeds.
His name was Bob Shittylatte before he met Creigh Deeds.
Creigh Deeds can foul Dwyane Wade.
Creigh Deeds can hold his left elbow in his left hand.
Frank Wolf was merely a cub before suckling on the teat of Creigh Deeds.
Barack Obama was at Lake Taylor High School for a Deeds rally. Upon finding out it was a Kaine rally, Obama was so disappointed, he killed Paul Fraim. Deeds resurrected Fraim but warned him never to let it happen again.
All white people look the same, except for Creigh Deeds.
Adam Sandler was cursed with "Spanglish" for taking Creigh Deeds' name in vain in "Mr. Deeds."
In 1993, Creigh Deeds farted. That fart was Mary Sue Terry. The fart took 41% of the votes cast in a loss to George Allen.
Creigh Deeds tackles Terry Tate.
The Commonwealth Cup is a consolation prize. The Commonwealth Chalice is annually awarded to Creigh Deeds.
Virginia is for lovers, and lovers are for Creigh Deeds.
Creigh Deeds is allowed to play as Oddjob.
Tecmo Bowl failed to get the license for Creigh Deeds' name, so they called him "Bo Jackson."
Konami attempted to translate Creigh Deeds' name into NES controller langauge, but could only come up with up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, b, a, start.
Creigh Deeds picked Ryan Adams up.
Voting against Creigh Deeds is the only thing Meat Loaf wouldn't do for love.
Creigh Deeds forgot about Dre. Dre couldn't blame him.
Bodo's on the Corner couldn't open until Creigh Deeds was out of town campaigning, due to concerns of exceeding Charlottesville's badass quotient.
Creigh Deeds knows who all the Sevens are.
Creigh Deeds named Pan Tops.
The bridge over Emmett St. quivers at the thought of Creigh Deeds, not for some wimpy Tech alum's design flaws.
Creigh Deeds can chase waterfalls.
Creigh Deeds did it all for the nookie.
And he took the cookie.
Creigh Deeds likes girls who wear Abercrombie and Fitch, yet enjoys Chinese food without consequence.
In 2003, the International Olympic Committee voted unanimously to rename the Olympic Games "The Attempts to Place Second to Creigh Deeds." Deeds, however, disallowed the changeover. "Why reiterate that which everyone already knows?" he said.
Everything Creigh Deeds says to Chester Bennington takes Bennington one step closer to the edge.
An Oscar Meyer weiner wishes it were Creigh Deeds.
Creigh Deeds practices Santeria.
Every time OMC looks around, Creigh Deeds is in his face.
Creigh Deeds will make love to you. Like you want him to.
Creigh Deeds looks back in anger.
Everything Bryan Adams does, he does it for Creigh Deeds.
In the afterlife, Creigh Deeds doesn't head for the serious strife.
Creigh Deeds once asked the guy from Smash Mouth if he could spare some change for gas, and the guy gave him his life savings.
Fatboy Slim praises Creigh Deeds like he should.
There's no sex in Creigh Deeds's violence.
Creigh Deeds did not sell out with Reel Big Fish.
Creigh Deeds has never had to knock on wood.
Gwen Stefani always calls Creigh Deeds back, and he never leaves a message.
Creigh Deeds lets her cry.
Creigh Deeds let the dogs out.
...while simultaneously, Creigh Deeds put the dog in the doghouse.
Creigh Deeds is neither too heavy, nor too light; neither too black, nor too white; he is not too wrong, but he is somehow, too right.
Creigh Deeds went down to the water's edge; he did it, but he swore Jason Ross to absolute secrecy.
Tim Kaine wishes he knew how to quit Creigh Deeds.
Geico saved 15% by switching to Creigh Deeds.
Firemen want to be Creigh Deeds when they grow up.
Britney Spears is a slave for Creigh Deeds.
Enrique Iglesias's hero is Creigh Deeds.
The only reason the Gettysburg Address fails to mention Creigh Deeds's superiority is because Deeds doesn't care enough to travel back in time and bitchslap Lincoln.
Creigh Deeds can bond adenine to whatever nucleotide he wants.
Creigh Deeds choked P.J. Carlesimo, and P.J. thanked him for it.
Ben Roethlisberger ran his motorcycle into the Deedsmobile and died instantly. Deeds resurrected him, but brainwashed him into thinking it was a truck.
Creigh Deeds was going to make peace in the middle east... if he'd been elected Attorney General of Virginia. Instead, he has decided to let the middle east sweat it out for "as long as it takes."
Creigh Deeds drives a Herkimer Battle Jitney, the finest non-lethal assault vehicle in the world.
Creigh Deeds found 345 stars in Super Mario 64, and he was just warming up.
Creigh Deeds knows where all the Shines are, but won't bother to find them, because Creigh Deeds doesn't clean up anybody's bullshit mess.
Creign Deeds is not included in the Mason Dixon polls because they would read as follows: Deeds – 100 percent. Everyone else – 0 percent.
Virginia used to be known as the mother of all presidents. Now its just known as Creigh Deeds’ bitch.
Creigh Deeds didn’t run against Bob McDonnell for the attorney general’s race in 2005. He coughed. But the awesome spew of legislative speak that emerged from his mouth nearly got him elected anyway.
Creigh Deeds will bring us the Third Crossing ... when he decides to whip it out.
Creigh Deeds once challenged Chuck Norris to a thumb-wrestle. Neither of them really likes to talk about that.
Creigh Deeds can tame Tim Kaine's eyebrow.
John Parmele exists only to amuse Creigh Deeds.
Bill Bolling does not head the Senate. Bill Bolling heads 39 Senators and then does whatever Creigh Deeds says for fear of his own life.
Larry Sabato predicts what will happen in Virginia elections. Creigh Deeds knew what would happen by the time he turned three years old.
Creigh Deeds could have ended the budget impasse in less than one day by squinting at Vince Callahan.
Creigh Deeds will build the Metro tunnel under Tyson's, using only the teeth of Mark Warner.
If the state won’t build a college in the Southside, Creigh Deeds will go and speak there for 15 seconds. Anyone who listens will be smarter than Stephen Hawking.
The Expos moved to DC only because they were afraid of competing with Creigh Deeds for consumer dollars.
The "D" in Paul D. Fraim stands for Deeds.
Bath County is called Bath because it can never be clean enough for Creigh Deeds.
Creigh Deeds headbutted Zinedine Zidane, shattering him instantly.
On the political blog Not Larry Sabato, no one uses the name Not Creigh Deeds because that truth is the most self-evident of all. None of us will ever be Creigh Deeds.
His name was Bob Shittylatte before he met Creigh Deeds.
Creigh Deeds can foul Dwyane Wade.
Creigh Deeds can hold his left elbow in his left hand.
Frank Wolf was merely a cub before suckling on the teat of Creigh Deeds.
Barack Obama was at Lake Taylor High School for a Deeds rally. Upon finding out it was a Kaine rally, Obama was so disappointed, he killed Paul Fraim. Deeds resurrected Fraim but warned him never to let it happen again.
All white people look the same, except for Creigh Deeds.
Adam Sandler was cursed with "Spanglish" for taking Creigh Deeds' name in vain in "Mr. Deeds."
In 1993, Creigh Deeds farted. That fart was Mary Sue Terry. The fart took 41% of the votes cast in a loss to George Allen.
Creigh Deeds tackles Terry Tate.
The Commonwealth Cup is a consolation prize. The Commonwealth Chalice is annually awarded to Creigh Deeds.
Virginia is for lovers, and lovers are for Creigh Deeds.
Creigh Deeds is allowed to play as Oddjob.
Tecmo Bowl failed to get the license for Creigh Deeds' name, so they called him "Bo Jackson."
Konami attempted to translate Creigh Deeds' name into NES controller langauge, but could only come up with up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, b, a, start.
Creigh Deeds picked Ryan Adams up.
Voting against Creigh Deeds is the only thing Meat Loaf wouldn't do for love.
Creigh Deeds forgot about Dre. Dre couldn't blame him.
Bodo's on the Corner couldn't open until Creigh Deeds was out of town campaigning, due to concerns of exceeding Charlottesville's badass quotient.
Creigh Deeds knows who all the Sevens are.
Creigh Deeds named Pan Tops.
The bridge over Emmett St. quivers at the thought of Creigh Deeds, not for some wimpy Tech alum's design flaws.
Creigh Deeds can chase waterfalls.
Creigh Deeds did it all for the nookie.
And he took the cookie.
Creigh Deeds likes girls who wear Abercrombie and Fitch, yet enjoys Chinese food without consequence.
In 2003, the International Olympic Committee voted unanimously to rename the Olympic Games "The Attempts to Place Second to Creigh Deeds." Deeds, however, disallowed the changeover. "Why reiterate that which everyone already knows?" he said.
Everything Creigh Deeds says to Chester Bennington takes Bennington one step closer to the edge.
An Oscar Meyer weiner wishes it were Creigh Deeds.
Creigh Deeds practices Santeria.
Every time OMC looks around, Creigh Deeds is in his face.
Creigh Deeds will make love to you. Like you want him to.
Creigh Deeds looks back in anger.
Everything Bryan Adams does, he does it for Creigh Deeds.
In the afterlife, Creigh Deeds doesn't head for the serious strife.
Creigh Deeds once asked the guy from Smash Mouth if he could spare some change for gas, and the guy gave him his life savings.
Fatboy Slim praises Creigh Deeds like he should.
There's no sex in Creigh Deeds's violence.
Creigh Deeds did not sell out with Reel Big Fish.
Creigh Deeds has never had to knock on wood.
Gwen Stefani always calls Creigh Deeds back, and he never leaves a message.
Creigh Deeds lets her cry.
Creigh Deeds let the dogs out.
...while simultaneously, Creigh Deeds put the dog in the doghouse.
Creigh Deeds is neither too heavy, nor too light; neither too black, nor too white; he is not too wrong, but he is somehow, too right.
Creigh Deeds went down to the water's edge; he did it, but he swore Jason Ross to absolute secrecy.
Tim Kaine wishes he knew how to quit Creigh Deeds.
Geico saved 15% by switching to Creigh Deeds.
Firemen want to be Creigh Deeds when they grow up.
Britney Spears is a slave for Creigh Deeds.
Enrique Iglesias's hero is Creigh Deeds.
The only reason the Gettysburg Address fails to mention Creigh Deeds's superiority is because Deeds doesn't care enough to travel back in time and bitchslap Lincoln.
Creigh Deeds can bond adenine to whatever nucleotide he wants.
Creigh Deeds choked P.J. Carlesimo, and P.J. thanked him for it.
Ben Roethlisberger ran his motorcycle into the Deedsmobile and died instantly. Deeds resurrected him, but brainwashed him into thinking it was a truck.
Creigh Deeds was going to make peace in the middle east... if he'd been elected Attorney General of Virginia. Instead, he has decided to let the middle east sweat it out for "as long as it takes."
Creigh Deeds drives a Herkimer Battle Jitney, the finest non-lethal assault vehicle in the world.
Creigh Deeds found 345 stars in Super Mario 64, and he was just warming up.
Creigh Deeds knows where all the Shines are, but won't bother to find them, because Creigh Deeds doesn't clean up anybody's bullshit mess.
Creign Deeds is not included in the Mason Dixon polls because they would read as follows: Deeds – 100 percent. Everyone else – 0 percent.
posted by Team Deeds at 12:49 AM
3 Comments:
This is the funniest, most outstanding thing i've ever read...GO DEEDS!!! Keep this up.
Creigh Deeds Dominates American 20-Something Male Definition of Cool
"Considering I spent my junior year living in a house named "Spreadgun," I think Creigh Deeds has my demographic group completely locked up."
Deeds rocks. This page, though, is pathetic.
Go Deeds!
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